'Tis the Season: Cultivating Joy in Our Lives

The other day, I stumbled upon a gem in my Instagram feed—a clip from the "Man Enough" podcast featuring co-host Justin Baldoni expressing heartfelt gratitude for his joy-infused best friend, Jamey Heath and the transformative role that he played in his life. As I watched these friends share their gratitude for the joy that they bring to one another, it sparked a flurry of thoughts just in time for the holidays where joy constantly pops up as one of the prevailing expectations of the season.

Joy as the default

Justin openly admitted to a smidge of envy because, for Jamey, joy was second nature. But Justin also expressed his heartfelt gratitude to Jamey because he had recently felt a seismic shift within himself, where joy was inching its way to becoming his default mode too. He credited his friend for the assist. This inspiring friendship got me thinking about the magic of joy and how we can sprinkle more of it into our lives.

Lifting the Weight

As I was musing about my thoughts on joy, a friend dropped a Ronnie Coleman quote on me: "Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder, but nobody wants to lift the heavy ass weights." It hit me—people often want joy but shy away from the heavy lifting it requires. Joy isn't a given; it's a mindset we carve out through hard work and effort.

Joy vs. Happiness:

Let's clarify – joy and happiness are like siblings, not twins. Happiness is a quick burst of pleasure, but joy is that cozy, enduring warmth of contentment. Joy demands intention and effort; it's a state of being, not a fleeting act of doing.

The 8 Pillars of Joy

In April 2015, Archbishop Tutu embarked on a journey to the Dalai Lama's residence to celebrate His Holiness's eightieth birthday along with the intention to craft a meaningful gift for humanity. Their shared quest was to unravel the secret to finding joy amid life's inevitable hardships. After a week filled with laughter and deep reflection, the "The Book of Joy," was written and the 8 Pillars of Joy were created as a blueprint for enduring happiness. Here's a snapshot of each pillar:

1. Perspective: See beyond challenges, embracing a broader view of life's complexities.

2. Humility: Cultivate a humble heart, acknowledging the interconnectedness of all beings.

3. Laughter: Find the joyous lightness in moments, even amidst life's gravest circumstances.

4. Acceptance: Embrace life in its entirety, acknowledging both the pleasant and the challenging.

5. Forgiveness: Release the burden of resentment, allowing room for healing and joy to flourish.

6. Gratitude: Acknowledge and appreciate the multitude of blessings, big and small.

7. Compassion: Extend kindness and understanding, fostering a sense of shared humanity.

8. Generosity: Give freely of yourself, as the act of giving is a pathway to lasting joy.

"The Book of Joy- Lasting Happiness in a Changing World" reveals that these pillars collectively form the foundation for a life rich in joy, demonstrating that true happiness is not merely a fleeting emotion but a deliberate and sustained way of being.

Create the Space for Joy:

To make joy a default setting, we must create a space for it in our lives. Much like strengthening a muscle, it involves lifting the heavy weights. Joy is attainable, but it requires commitment.

Simple Steps to Cultivate Joy:

1. Start Small: Consider the little joys around you—whether it's a stroll, a heartfelt text, or a puppy cuddle.

2. Practice Gratitude: Take a moment to count your blessings. Gratitude has a magical way of shifting your focus to the positive.

3. Be Authentic: Embrace your quirks and imperfections. Genuine joy often emerges when you stop trying to fit into someone else's mold.

4. Give Back: Small acts of kindness create ripples of joy. It doesn't have to be grand; even tiny gestures make a significant impact.

5. Positive Surroundings: Birds of a feather flock together, surround yourself with positive, kind, and authentic people. Their vibes can transform your world.

As we dive into the holiday season, let's ponder the pursuit of joy and its transformative power. If you're seeking more joy, let gratitude, authenticity, and kindness be your allies. And if you're already basking in joy, keep shining that light, inspiring others on their joy-filled journeys.



Here's to a holiday season bursting with authentic happiness, inner peace, and the space for joy!